Do I Really Want To Repent?

A question that is begging for an answer in my own heart, do I really want to repent? Repentance is God initiated, but has much to do with my desire to say yes. Actually last week I began to think about where I was in my relationship with God. Even before Chris Beall spoke about repentance on Sunday -- I started a journey questioning my love for my Savior. Chris taught us that repentance is not feeling sorry for our actions. Repentance is a God awakening to our sin -- an awakening that we must own and welcome. An awakening that causes us to hate sin, lukewarm attitudes, apathy and turns us to God's way of seeing or doing things. Even though it is a God move in our lives, I believe we can fully reject his awakening.

I am more convinced than ever that I want God to awaken me -- I want a burning love for him and a great desire to see people find Christ as Savior. Now with that said, there is still part of me that is fearful of the cost that I will have to pay when saying yes to this renewal of my own soul. Yet as I seek God I feel like he is stripping away the fear -- not in some supernatural immediate fashion, but rather by confronting me with what holds me back. As he confronts me I have a choice to say yes, no or maybe; choices that may be uncomfortable and will definitely cost me something.

Are you asking God to renew you -- to bring you to repentance? It will likely be a journey, but one that is worth it. I encourage you to have a repentant heart. God has so much in store for you. Run to him. Desire more of him in your life. Love him. Join me in a simple prayer –- God, bring about repentance in my life.