Monday, February 23, 2009

If you were with us last Sunday you know we talked about pursuing your spouse. Here's some homework to help you apply what you learned. If you missed last week, watch our website for week 2 of The Vow.

The Vow of Pursuit


Once we commit to keeping God as our #1 priority and our spouse as #2, it’s time to pursue our 2. The vow of pursuit means we close the gap between our intentions and our actions, and begin actively pursuing our spouse. When we think something good, we say it. When we think of something special, we do it. And when we want something different, we become it. Take a look at these quick ideas, use the ones that work for you, and let them become a springboard for your creativity as you pursue your 2.

Make a list

There’s no shame in asking your spouse how he or she wants to be pursued. In fact, why not make it a mutual assignment? Each of you can make a list of 10 ways you’d appreciate being pursued. Make sure you include some low-cost, easy ideas that you’d enjoy more than once. Then swap lists and use your insider knowledge for good!

2-minute investments

Technology can be a distraction in your marriage, or it can be your ally. Leverage the tools at your fingertips to pursue your spouse two minutes at a time. These micro-pursuits aren’t a substitute for the bigger ones, but they can help you make pursuing your spouse a part of your lifestyle.

• set a reminder on your calendar to ask about a future meeting or appointment your spouse has mentioned
• purchase and download some music you think he or she would enjoy
• send a steamy text
• leave a voicemail recalling a favorite shared moment
• go for a public display of affirmation on your blog/Twitter/Facebook
• search the web for lyrics to a meaningful song and quote them in an email
• send your spouse a link to an article or video that made you think of him or her

Stop doing to start pursuing?

Pursuing our spouse means we’re putting action to our intentions. But don’t overlook the things you can stop doing as another avenue of pursuit. It might be something as simple as not answering the phone in the middle of a conversation with your spouse. Maybe you can curb a habit that bothers him or her. Perhaps you’ll hold your tongue when a critical thought comes to mind. Making sacrifices for your spouse shows him or her the importance you place on your marriage and, ultimately, follows the example Christ set for us.

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